Japanese wedding Part II: "Action!"

The big day arrived with 15 guests coming from my home country Norway, 3 from Spain, and 12 other foreign guests living in Japan.

There were 80 guests and ten nationalities, a veritable UN summit in miniature. At Japanese weddings guests normally give 30.000 yen, enclosed in a beautifully ornamented envelope. Traditional Japanese weddings are quite expensive and so money gifts are helpful. However, besides food and beverage, guests also get presents, or in our case, which is getting common, a gift catalogue to choose from a variety of goods. So eventually the money gifts didn't cover even a third, so it was quite an extravaganza. Well, you only marry once, they say!

After 2 hours, finally all of the kimonos, obi-belt, wig, hair ornaments, hood, kimono socks, kimono slippers, and make-up were in place. When I saw myself in the mirror I was stunned, I was Japanese. My family was even more overwhelmed, and it seemed hard for my parents to see their daughter looking so foreign. Eventually we got ready for the ceremony, washed our hands before entering the shrine, and proceeded with my husband walking up front. Walking in it reminded me of my nightmares where I stumbled and the wig was catapulted and landed on my mother-in-law's head. I shook all over, but luckily all my worries were in vane, and I safely entered the room with all my garments in place. We were seated in the center with family and friends on each side. Priests played a prelude, and we were given sake that we drank from small red lacquer cups. We read our marriage vows, rotated a green branch, bowed, and clapped our hands in gratitude to the Gods. Postlude was played and my husband and I proceeded out of the room. I didn't stumble once, and luckily the wig stayed put the whole time.

The wedding party was held in a 150-years-old traditional Japanese building, annexed to the shrine. At first I wore the white kimono, and afterwards I went to change into the red kimono. Entering the party hall there was live performance of "koto", a Japanese harp instrument. Then my husband's boss and my research mentor gave speeches, before it was time to start the wedding party for real. This was marked by "kagamibiraki", meaning us breaking up a sake barrel with a big wooden club. Apparently it's just a performance, and so the lid was already opened. However, I really thought that we had to break it up and applied all my strength, bursting the barrel and basically showering the closest guests with sake. We then served sake to all of the guests in "masu", wooden cups, and made "kampai", cheers. The food served was exquisite and contained 15 menus, but unfortunately I couldn't eat or drink almost anything due to my tight outfit, and before I knew it I had to leave the room to change costume again. Standing in the dressing room, though wearing the kimono had been quite a challenge, I just didn't want to take it of. It felt very special wearing it and I couldn't help crying when it was taken off. However, I was soaking wet and so it kind of was a relief after all. We changed into western bridal costumes, my husband in white tie and tails and me white wedding dress and tiara. Back with the guests we cut the wedding cake and several guests gave speeches. With such international wedding guests, language could easily be a barrier, but luckily we had a Japanese friend who speaks Norwegian to translate. This resulted though in 1 extra hour, which is unheard of in Japan

where punctuality is taken for granted. We had to rush out of the premises to make space for the next wedding couple. Afterwards we had a second party with friends, which was finished off with fireworks, an explosive completion to an unforgettable day, and a real kickoff to mark the beginning of our marriage life. Thinking back on my wedding day it really feels like a dream, a pretty, but still a bit surreal dream, where I got to become geisha and princess on the very same day. Though I am not Japanese it still felt like I was part of a strong and transcending culture, a red line tying all generations together. It was an ultimate high that will stay vivid in my memory forever. And for those who decide to tie the knot, doing it the Japanese way is definitely the way to go. "Chikaimasu", I do!"